Poetic "parts of self" - The voice of the pleaser

** Content warning - some people may find this poetry triggering, as it may connect with your own story. Please go gently with yourself.

The voice of the pleaser

I go by many names. This is just one; I’m the caretaker, the peacekeeper, the self-sacrificer, the fixer, the compliant one.

I started young; this was not a conscious choice – I am survival.

I don’t have needs; they are buried.

Ask me what I need, and I will dismiss myself; everything is fine. Nothing to see here. What do YOU need, how can I make YOU feel more comfortable, YOU look sad, what’s wrong with YOU, how can I help YOU.

I dismiss my needs as selfish, and unimportant. I mask my sadness.

I’m afraid of my own sadness – no one comes. I’m a diligent “good girl.” I follow the rules. I treat others how I want to be treated BUT I’m disrespected, unappreciated, taken for granted. I am left confused. I’m a diligent “good girl.” I follow the rules. I treat others how I want to be treated BUT I’m disrespected, unappreciated, taken for granted.

I’m left confused.

I’m left confused.

I fear their disappointment. I fear conflict; I will be blamed. I am confused. I’m a diligent “good girl.”

If I do things perfectly, they will stay – please don’t abandon me. I’ll be all alone. I’m in the dark; a pit, a well, a ditch – I am small, and I am alone. No one cares, and no one comes.

I can’t let people see the loneliness, the dark turmoil of my inner child – they don’t know how to respond to her. I don’t know how to respond to her. I am too much.

I keep the peace, I please others, I find solutions, I meet the needs of others, I sacrifice myself – I am survival.